Chronic Diaries

 Kill Them with Kindness : Body Shaming & Chronic Illness Maria Aloysius T he internet (fans/people) seem to be invested in the Hailey Bieber/Kylie Jenner/Selena Gomez online bullying feud. Yes, people don’t like bullies. Bullies (Hailey & Kylie) are being called out by Selena’s fans and the entire fiasco has become scarier with Hailey receiving death threats. Yesterday, Selena defended Hailey on IG, writing ‘This isn’t what I stand for. No one should have to experience hate or bullying. I’ve always advocated for kindness and really want this all to stop!’. Similarly, Selena has been very open and vulnerable on the issue of body shaming and chronic illness, her lupus journey in her documentary, My Mind and Me bringing awareness to people, her fans and bullies on social media. She is constantly criticized for her weight gain, her appearance in person or online. There is even footage of paparazzi body shaming her as she is filming and working. That’s beyond absurd! Anyone managin

  Grief & Chronic Illness :  Working through 7 Stages of Chronic Pain   Maria Aloysius What does grief and chronic illness have to do with each other? Well....lots! Grief is normal. Know that no-one can avoid grief. Losing a loved one (family/friends) or the loss of yourself when with chronic illness. Chronic illness / pain is a DAILY grief. You work through the stages and learn to move on. ALLOW yourself to grief!  I experienced these 7 stages and here's what I did to work through them, stage by stage :  1. Denial  I find this stage by far to be the trickiest. Denial is vital. The stage where you can't believe you have a chronic illness/pain. There are times where you lie or tell yourself that the illness can magically disappear, just like it appeared one day. Deny, deny, deny! What to do : Allow yourself to be in denial. Denial is the opposite of acceptance. Before you accept it, you are allowed to deny it.  2. Pleading, Bargaining & Desperation The stage where you l

Sociology of Culture Using Chris Rock's Selective Outrage on Netflix   Maria Aloysius Apart from having a great comeback and roasting Will Smith and his wife, Jada Pinkett-Smith after his infamous Oscar slap, Chris Rock gave us a free masterclass in Sociology of Culture. Culture is often refers to a large and diverse set of values, beliefs, language and communication as well as practices and rituals people share in common. Culture is all around us, like it or not. I find these 3 cultures rather disturbing. 1. America's biggest addiction : Attention What's new? This isn't just happening in America. We are living in an attention-seeking culture, craving validation in the form of 'likes'. The need to loved and to be accepted is no longer what we strive for. We want to be 'liked'. Whatever does that mean? Everyone has this strange fascination about being rich, famous and of course, powerful and influential. Rock identifies 4 ways of being famous : showing of

It's Not in My Head! : How to Spot & Deal with Medical Gaslighting Maria Aloysius What's Medical Gaslighting?  When doctors/ medical professionals minimize, dismiss your illness or symptoms of your illness. They tell or make you believe your illness is all in your head! Be informed that medical gaslighting is a form of medical malpractice! How Can I Recognize Medical Gaslighting? 1. Doctor constantly interrupts you, not allowing you to speak or elaborate on your symptoms and does not practice listening! 2. Doctor minimizes your level of pain and suffering. At times, making fun or belittling you! 3. Doctor is rude and even mentions blames your symptoms on your mental health 4. Doctor doesn't answer your questions and doesn't give you the relevant information or tests that is needed to rule out symptoms/illnesses How can I deal with Medical Gaslighting? Tip 1 Bring along your spouse/family member/loved one to appointments Why? They can listen to what the doctor is say

Less is More : 5 Minimalist Habits to Manage Chronic Pain/Illnesses Maria Aloysius I believe minimalism is not something trendy, it's practical and necessary  for pain management. Minimalism is survival for me. Less is more, less means less  movement or pain and more rest and relaxation. I find minimalism  means less stress, less clutter and not worrying about cleaning or constant organizing of wardrobes or household items in my home/room/kitchen. Minimalism makes my life easier.  1. Less clothing I find owning less clothes (dresses, garments) including a fewer bedsheets and pillow cases are rewarding in the long run. Laundry, then becomes easier when there are less clothing and I feel a sense of accomplishment when I can successfully wash and dry laundry in a short period of time. Since I love fashion too, it is easier to pair my clothing. An example would be dresses with cardigans or sweaters. That way I know exactly what to wear and all clothes get to be worn. I'm maximizing

  3 Journaling Exercises : Using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)  Maria Aloysius -7th March, 2023 In my years of finding a therapy that works for me to manage my pain, I have found that CBT is the best. I have learned to journal, to monitor my moods as well as to be mindful of my thoughts which influences my emotions . Here are the 3 journaling exercises using CBT. Exercise 1 : Tracking a thought process  Why this exercise? To track how you think and react/respond to a given situation (either positive or negative)  Exercise Questions?  1. What happened? (I was at a lecture)  2. What was I thinking? (I wanted to ask a question) 3. What was I feeling? (I felt the question sounded stupid) 4. What did I do? (I kept quiet) For me, I used this exercise to track my thinking process on my chronic illness. Here was what I initially thought and how I am still changing my thought process.    I was diagnosed with chronic pain. I was thinking my life is over. I felt down, depressed and sad. I b

3 WAYS OF GETTING THROUGH THE DAY WITH CHRONIC PAIN Maria Aloysius -6th March, 2023 Chronic pain and illnesses are no walk in the park and dealing with them on a daily basis, every single minute or hour may seem like an eternity. Throughout the years, I have learned to develop ways and coping techniques to help me manage pain and move forward. Here are my 3 ways of getting through the day.  1. Talking to someone who can empathize      It isn't easy to suffer alone in pain all day. I recommend talking with loved ones or even friends. It can be a tremendous help. Open up and tell someone your feelings or even your pain levels. Words of encouragement and affirmation from others are a blessing. Remember you are not alone. There are support groups, friends, family or even some doctors who will empathize with you.           However, you still need to choose who you speak to wisely. Some people just don't relate and don't want to listen. Understand that not many get what you'r

  WELCOME TO CHRONIC DIARIES Maria Aloysius -6th March, 2023 I have always wanted to start a blog and finally, I did! Thrilled to share my daily thoughts on life, love, sociology, education, music, lecturing, painting and my journey of managing pain or it managing me!   Excited to Launch my first online counselling sessions via Zoom or Google Meet. Three new packages! Kindly DM or email me at maria.sociology2@gmail.com for more info.    #counselling   #wellness   #health   #chronicpain   #chronicillness   #healing